


Never Yours

by TeenJulsie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: #death #suicide #letter #sad #fluff #crying #lies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28840599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeenJulsie/pseuds/TeenJulsie
Summary: 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦Or the one where Louis reads the letter Harry left for him before closing his eyes forever
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 10





	Never Yours

**_Dear_ _Louis_ ** _,_

_I don't know when you will be reading this but there is a few things I want you to know_ _about_. _Is gonna be a long letter_ cause my fellings _were never simple so_ _make yourself comfortable before you read this._

_You see, I was just a kid when I fell in love. I didn't knew what was happening with me but I hoped the new fellings I had could bring me happines ...or maybe that's what I tought._

_You see there was nothing more beautiful then the moment where your eyes locked with mine.The time suddenly stopped and l just forgot about everything around me,I just wanted to stay and admire you for hours.... I might not have been able to tell you but you mean the world to me and much more than that.I wish I could explain how your eyes, the sound of your voice gives me butterflies,how your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how everytime I am with you I feel so complete....I really wish I could_

_Before I met you, I didn't knew I could look at someone and smile for no reason. You meant everything to me and you were the reason my smile was always there.I never wanted you to see I was actually suffering, but it all became to much at some point.Just looking at you, not being able to touch you,seeing you smile laughing giggling,suddenly getting all shy and played with the bottom of your sleeves and not being able to squish you in my arms and tell you I love you, it was all to much....._ _I never was the reason of your warm smile full of love,I_ _never_ _was the_ _one_ _you loved and wanted to spend all your life_ _with_ _and I knew it but in the back of my mind I always wish I was_

_At first_ _I tought it wasn't gonna last.I tought you were just a crush and it will pas in few months. I was up so many nights thinking that maybe the next day when I wake up my heart wouldn't flatter when I see you and I wouldn't feel guilty for loving you anymore....But those nights full of despair became days, then months, and slowly years_

_All I ever wanted was to live, but I didn’t know how, and thats why you are reading this now._

_Lou,I need you to tell the guys they did nothing wrong. Niall was like a little brother to me and his laughing was contagious it could light up my day when all I wanted to was cry.Liam was the bestfriend you always go when you need a shoulder to cry on, he was there when I was sad and he never questioned what was wrong cause he knew an answer will never come but he was still there for me.I want you to find Zayn and go tell him I still love him, even if he leaved the band and he thinks we hate him for that, I don't, he did it for his own health and he will always be my brother and my supporter no matter what, I have a lot of memories with them and shared a lot of laughs so please make sure you tell them that for me._

_Maybe from what you read you think you were only the reason for my sadness but you were not,don't even think that for a second. I laughed and smiled with you like I never did with anyone.We have a lot of good memories together like the nights when we watched movies and in the end it was all a popcorn fight and then fall asleep cuddling on_ _the_ _couch._ I _n the morning i was waking up in your arms and after we would just_ _fight again who was gonna clean up.That time when I wasn't felling well after a show and fall asleep in the car,you carried me and didn't let me go for a second then cuddled with me to make sure you are there if I need anything_ _,w_ _e had marathons of laughing for no reason,arguments ,stupid ones of course,we made fun of eachother, we used to compliment eachother, long talks until midnight when one of us couldn't sleep and the other would just stay up.....Those are just some of the_ _memories_ _we have and a_ _part_ _of_ _the little things that made me fall in love with you._

_And maybe I told you before but_ _I_ _need_ _to_ _make sure you know,your beauty was also a main reason for my smile.I always knew people are beautiful but when I saw you it was_ _like_ _bueaty wasn't a word enough to describe you._   
_I am sure you know that already,that you are the most beautiful angel that ever walked on earth.Your eyes were one of the main reasons that made me think you have fallen from the sky. That sparkling blue who makes my knees go weak,there is a way about them that hypnotize me just looking.Your lips that I always imagined how they felt,there was always a smile within those lips that smile who just_ _somehow_ _made_ _people,made me_ _happy. Your messy brown hair I used to play with when I was bored.Your hands that fits in mine perfectly. Do you remember when we met at Xfactor after the auditions you hold my hand we were both scared about what was gonna happen and we just met but none of us cared and after all we both made it_ _and_ _here we are...._

_These are just simple things I admire about you and I want to make sure you know it. I don't know if you are crying reading this or if you even found it but my feelings are written on this paper and soon I will be gone and you don't know how much of a coward I feel for not being able to express them face to face._

_I used to read_ _and_ _hear stories about people falling in love with their bestfriend. They used to say how amazing it is to have as a lover the person who knew everything about you that you could trust with everything and be there for you...._ _And it did, it felt great and I tought that maybe at some point I could tell you and something could actually happen but It didn't, maybe just beacuse I was a coward or maybe just because it wasn't meant to be._   
_And you_ _know_ _the worst thing about falling in love with your bestfriend Is that you can't with your bestfriend about it._

_Louis listen, I don't want you to feel guilty. You are not the reason I decided to do this, I am. I was the stupid one. I didn't deserve you and I don't deserve your tears and love, I am sorry if you miss me I am sorry I wasn't strong enough but seeing you and not being able to tell you how much you mean to me and feel your touch was like being tortured and I couldn't handle it anymore...I am, I really am sorry I wasn't strong enough but please promise you will move on.....you need to_

_You have Eleanor next to you,she will help you. I saw the way you look at her,the way_ _I_ _always_ _wished_ _you_ _would_ _look at me but_ _after_ _all maybe_ _it just_ _wasn't_ _meant_ _to_ _be....You know at first_ _I_ _tought it was_ _only_ _what_ _management planned but it surprised me when you actually aksed her to be your real girlfriend. And I can't lie, I was heartbroken but I was also very happy cause somehow I knew you found love_ _and_ _that is_ _a felling no one can describe_ _with_ _words and_ _I_ _always_ _wanted_ _you_ _to know how it feels._

 _You need to do with her all those amazing things you told me about remember? When you told me,how you want me to go and show me your childhood home introduce me to your old_ _friends_ _,that time when you told me you want to visit every little place in this world and enjoy your life at the best level? You_ _do_ _remember_ _Louis and you need to do it cause life is to short to be sad and even if I am not there with you, you need to be happy,your smile is to precious to keep it for yourself so go out and show it to the world._

_I don't know if you are still reading at least I hope you are,that was all i wanted to say and I am sorry for what I am about to do. I don't want to hurt you or anybody and as my last wish, please forget about me and be happy._

_**'I love you Loubear'** _

"I love you Hazza" Louis whispers hot tears streaming down his face. He closes his eyes hoping maybe they will never open and he will see _,t_ he boy he was in love with again.....just maybe 

**Author's Note:**

> This story it's not meant to be harmful or disrespectful to the boys in any kind.It's created and written with the purpose of showing that things like this happen to a lot of people who seem happy too and even if people seem happy don't hesitate to ask them everyday how they feel and how they are, be kind cause that means a lot to anybody and things like this can be avoided.
> 
> I wanna clarify that am a larry shipper with all of my heart and I don't even wanna imagine something like this could happen to the boys. It's also written in moment of weakness and a lot of tears while reading and writing and correcting so If there are any mistakes trough it I am sorry.


End file.
